Playing Sports = Having Fun?

I grew playing sports -- some pick-up basketball and sandlot baseball then organized league play in basketball and softball. I finally settled on swimming (summer league and AAU). I had some natural abilities and liked the individual aspect of the sport as no one in my peer group would get terribly upset if I made a mistake, unlike a team sport. In high school, I joined the track team and though was not a superstar, I enjoyed the team camaraderie and managed to earn a varsity letter (score one point and you're in). I was an RA in an athletic dorm (residence hall) at UNC and there came across kids who played at the collegiate level (obviously) and some who went on to professional sports. I have also trained with Olympic swimmers. So, anyway, I have a general idea about what it takes to excel in sports.

As a young adult and well a bit older one, I have coached swimming and more recently, an Odyssey of the Mind team (not sports but very team oriented).

My sports experiences have taught me that winning is better than losing. My life experiences have taught me that if you're not having fun, you ought not to do it.

I had dreams about the Odyssey of the Mind competitions, mainly, I think, because I felt an obligation to the kids. Okay, I did want to win but I had learned enough about the program prior to the tournament to realize that our team may not place in the top 3 in its first competition. We didn't.

During the day of the event (teams make presentations all day), I heard about a middle-school kid who had succumbed to the pressure of the day (easily done) and had thrown up during his team's presentation. I realized then that, in coming years, as a coach, I would need to make an effort to keep things fun for the kids. Really, truly, if they are not having fun, I don't want to be a part of it (not that every moment is glorious).

My kids have been playing organized sports several seasons. They are not gifted athletes, at least I don't think so and at least not necessarily in the sports in which they have chosen to participate. I would encourage them to practice incessantly or at least occasionally but I also realize that no amount of practice, or fitness training, or great coaching, or camps are going to turn them into great athletes with endorsement opportunities. I'm fine with that.

But are his coaches and teammates? Some of them are; some, not. I have noticed that some coaches seemed a bit impatient with the kids who were not stellar athletes. Of course, the coaches are hearing from parents who want to win; perhaps I should be more vocal and tell them which kids they need to spend more time helping and encouraging. On the upside, I have never did see any of my kids' coaches say anything out of line. Still, I have observed that some did not seem to understand that the just-wanna-have-fun kids could make decent athletes, given tremendous patience, a sense of humor, gentle correction, and encouragement along with fundamental skill development and game situation practice.

Not too long ago, my husband and I were discussing the upcoming fall baseball season. I was encouraged by a letter from the league promoting development play and lots of opportunities for skill development. I thought that was great. I considered talking to my child about how he should get serious about the sport (he's in elemntary school).

My husband, who never played organized sports, didn't think the emphasis on development, practice, and more skill development was terrific. At first I was puzzled by his reaction. The problem to him, it seems, is that our youngest just wants to have fun. So I never had the let's-get-serious-about-sports talk with my son and am getting reacquainted with the idea that games should be fun.