examples to follow are here

I promised examples and then got too busy to give them.

But now here is one:

My 10-year-old goes outside to play with a neighbor without his jacket (during the winter; this year a mild one but still cold enough to require a coat). I don't tell him he absolutely has to wear a coat (or pants rather than shorts for that matter) but I know, I KNOW that when he gets cold, he'll come back in and get a coat. And I know that the "when" will be pretty soon.

He's not so young that going coatless for a short period of time will hurt him. But someone who saw him thought that perhaps I wasn't a good mom for intervening and forcing him to put his coat on. I think it's better for him to decide on this really low-stakes item that he needs to dress properly for the weather.


edited April 21, 2005